I was a pedophile. Once I was caught by the villagers while I was raping a little boy of seven and the mob took my life. I regret for all my actions. If only I could escape this inescapable realm, I would live a simple life. I would just work, eat and sleep. Oh life! How I wasted it in paining others!
I thought that everything was going to be just fine. My unrequited love would love me I thought. My parents would feel free of the burden of me I assumed. Everything turned out to be false. All the sadness I thought would end by terminating my life. But now in this absolute nothingness, even sadness and pain feel like bliss.
I had lived a peaceful life. I loved my family and laughed with them. I experienced life in many ways along with my friends. I did many mistakes. I regretted them too. I failed my family many a times. But I never failed trying to be happy and keep everyone around me happy. From this nothingness if only my voice could reach to any person, I would advise to live. To live life to its fullest. And let others live.
I earned a lot. Legally and illegally. I feel pity on myself for how I made people suffer just by my mean actions. It was such a horrible act to misuse the taxpayer’s money, which I did continually for the latter half of my life. If only I could know while I lived that I was going to take nothing upon my death! If only someone could make me understand this while I lived!
I was an astrologer. I didn’t even know when I was going to die. I stupidly believed in outdated superstitious stuffs and misled such a large number of people. I wish I could escape from this realm to tell them the stupidity of my teachings. Oh how I made people waste their lives believing stupid things rather than telling them to enjoy the life itself.
Where is the good world you promised? All my life, you prevented me from doing things I liked. I was a gay and you said that being a gay is perversion. I believed you. I repressed all my desires. You asked me to conform to your morals which I willingly did and what did I get in return? Nothing but pain all my life! You said that the life after death will be beautiful! I never questioned you. But I should have. You never died. I believed you and wasted my life. Now, I can do nothing to live the way I want to. You sadistic f**k! You always pretended to know things nobody knows and I believed you blindly. Now it is me who has vanished into nothingness without living my life my way.
Where is the good change you promised my Supreme Leader? You recruited me and trained me to die for a greater cause. You made me realize that my family is poor and asked me to pick arms to bring justice to all the poor. But where is the justice Supreme Leader? I see that it is only you who benefited from our deaths. You promised that my parents will feel proud at my death but I can see only sadness and tears. My mother cries every night thinking about me. I could have helped my arthritic father in the fields but you asked me to sacrifice my life for the betterment of everyone. But I see none. My death was for nothing! You lied to me Supreme Leader. You didn’t know how you yourself were going to change and forget my death. As if your precious cup had broken and you forgot about it. It was my life Supreme Leader which asked to sacrifice. My whole life.